Broken
by Babbles B
Summary: Bethany has been abused her whole life and at 17 she lost the most important person left in her life. And it was all her fault! The Turtles bring her in and try to help heal her. But despite being broken as she is her heart has this funny way of making her fall in love with one of the Turtles. Until another death befalls them leaving her more broken than before. Rated M. Please R&R
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys. So I am relatively new to writing FanFiction but I will do my best. This story will deal with rape, cutting, suicide and sex. It is rated M for a reason so please read at your own risk. However I do hope you guys like this story. But please review and let me know what you think. Good or bad or constructive criticism or advice is appreaciated. **

**Huge thanks to my Beta Reader Dondena for helping me and being awesome!**

**I don't own anything except Bethany as she is me. Now please enjoy! :)**

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** Chapter One**

Bethany shuffled her feet through the light layer of snow that covered the ground in a frozen blanket.

The evening sun peaked through the clouds and made the snow glisten and gleam around her. On a normal occasion she would have found this a very pretty sight, but not today…

She sniffed and held back her tears as she wrapped her arms around herself. She shivered in her light blue hoodie; stained with blood from the previous night.

Brushing her long, curly chestnut hair away from her sad, grey eyes she continued to walk aimlessly throughout the streets of New York.

Her heart pounded heavily in her chest and she wanted to scream, but no sound came. All she could feel was the knot in her stomach tightening and rising in her throat, choking her and stealing her breath away.

She felt little to no emotions and was walking around like a lost spirit. The emptiness and numbness consuming her as she trudged along; not even noticing the wind that was biting at her cheeks and yanking at her hair.

"I can't believe she's gone! And it's all my fault!" She thought to herself miserably and clenched her fists tightly together; digging her nails into her palms in an attempt to hold her feelings inside.

She wandered over to Central Park and sat under a tree; hugging her knees to her chest, she just sat there for a while.

Millions of thoughts ran through her head and her heart felt heavy in her chest. The pain and loneliness suffocating her as she sat there; and as she sat she thought about the many times she'd shared with Katie.

**_"Haha!" She laughed and her face lit up with sparkling eyes. "Come on Beth!" She urged. Tugging at her sweater playfully, Katie grinned at Bethany. Grinning back, the two raced off towards the tree that was their secret hideout. Her laugh rang out and twinkled in her ear as she spun around, her golden hair sparkling in the sun. Joy was emanating from her and Bethany could only help but smile too as they walked around laughing and talking._**

Bethany paused and smiled to herself softly. Remembering that afternoon fondly and then wishing she hadn't. But her thoughts could not be stopped now.

**"Bethany! Help me!" "Ahhh!" "No! Please leave me alone!" "Bethany! Please, you have to do something!" GUN SHOTS. "Katie!" Bethany had shrieked. Her desperate screams and pleas all raced through her head and Bethany closed her eyes tightly. Trying to get it all out of her head but it was no use. "Bethany!" Katie's voice screamed with terror. Her scream was so pain filled and terrified that it shattered Bethany's soul and her scream was haunting her because she hadn't been able to save her. **

The pain was now stabbing at her heart and clenching tightly with razor sharp talons. Breaking the little control she still had, Bethany dug into her sweater and pulled out the familiar blade. Unsheathing it, she stared at her reflection and ran her finger along the sharp edge.

The inner battle raging in whether or not to add to her scars on her wrist. She pulled up her sweater sleeve and stared at the many lines. Most of them faded with age but some newer ones showed easily.

Eventually, the intense desire to release her pain winning over, she dragged it across her wrist.

She watched as it puffed up, red and raised; the blood coming up in little bubbles, forming a perfect line of red.

Again and again she sliced away until the crimson blood ran down her arm and collected in a small pool on the ground.

When she was done she looked at the stained blade satisfactorily, a small smile playing on her lips. She closed the knife and stuck it back in her pocket.

All the pain she felt vanishing and her mind was at ease. All emotions disappearing as she watched the blood trickle down and hit the ground.

She felt a wall of calmness hit her and she felt free from her body. All the pain disappearing and she no longer felt hurt, but after the feeling of relief disappeared she felt conflicted.

She hit her head against the tree; disgusted that she had just done that.

And yet, it had felt so good to cut again. The feeling of complete calm engulfing her as her skin tore. Chasing away the unwanted thoughts and pain.

But Katie had made her promise never to do it again, but now-?

She forced those thoughts out of her head, not wanting to think about any of that again.

But as the minutes ticked by, she could feel herself losing her hold on her emotions entirely and she started to silently cry.

Her heart ached again and she could feel her last sliver of control slipping away from her and she could not hold it back any longer.

Her silent tears became hard, choking sobs that violently shook her whole body and she could not stop them from flowing.

She cried for what seemed like an eternity, but her tears could not be stopped.

But then, her grief turned to rage as her thoughts swirled around and found a reason to be furious instead.

Standing up she kicked the tree several times, ignoring the throbbing pain she felt in her foot.

She allowed the pain to calm her down and as she paused to catch her breath, all of her emotions came crashing down on her like an avalanche.

She let out a scream of pain and frustration and anger, blasted out with the aide of her tears and despair.

Her throat burned and she clenched her hands into tight fists.

"No! No! Nooooooo!" She wailed and pounded the tree. She clutched it tightly and whispered. "Noo!"

She leaned against the tree again as her tears started to fall harder and she collapsed in an emotionally tired heap.

Several minutes passed before she could stop crying and she just lay there now.

She didn't even care that the snow had started falling again, surrounding her in white, fluffy powder.

Nor did she care that the sun was setting and soon it would be dark, and Central Park was a dangerous place at night.

Too emotionally worn out to move, she continued to lay under the tree and sniffle, her bloody and tear stained cheeks turning pink from the cold.

She rubbed her red eyes and whispered quietly. "I'm so sorry..."

Her eyelids began to flutter and she closed her sad grey-blue eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Sleep that came easily to her with the emotional exhaustion of the past two days and aided by the loss of blood from her arms. Although the troubles from the night before haunted her, she continued to sleep; echoed by Katie's screams of horror ringing over and over in her ears.

* * *

**'Crack!'** Bethany's eyes snapped wide open at the sound but she dared not move.

"Hey! Lookie here. It's our lucky night!" A dark voice said, though she could see no one in the darkness that loomed all around her.

"Hehe! Grab the gun!" The man chuckled and gave an order. Her skin started to crawl and she could feel the hair on her neck standing up as her heart pounded heavily in her chest.

The wind was suddenly knocked out of her and it was followed by strong kicks and punches.

A blow to her head made her dizzy as she tried to figure out what was going on.

Another strike hit her lips and she could taste the copper in her mouth and feel the blood trickling down her chin.

Someone grabbed her hair and pulled her up onto her feet as a rough hand grabbed her by the neck and rammed her up against the tree roughly.

Her head was swimming and her eyes were fuzzy as she tried to recover from the attack. She wanted to scream for someone to help but couldn't open her mouth.

She still couldn't see the man, but she could smell alcohol on his breath and cigarette smoke on his clothes.

Another man grabbed her hands and pinned them to the tree; and he pulled out a knife that glinted in the moonlight. The clouds having moved away and the full moon now shone brightly, giving her a glimpse of the men assaulting her.

He pressed the knife to her throat and leaned in close. "Don't resist little lady and we won't hurt you too much!" He cackled evilly as the other man reached down her shirt.

"No! Get away from me you creeps!" She cried and kicked the one guy as hard as she could, but another blow to her head knocked her to the ground. It was followed by several more kicks and fists.

Her body hurt all over and she could not move. They grabbed her hair again and slammed her against the tree harder this time.

"That was a very stupid decision, Bitch! And you're going to pay for it!" He threatened menacingly and slashed at her arm with the knife. She cried out in pain as he dug the knife into her neck on pale flesh again.

She bit her lip and tried not to scream as he unbuttoned her loose and dirty jeans. His hand snaked down her pants; she whimpered and tried not to cry out.

The knife still tight to her throat pressed even tighter against her flesh and stream of blood began to trickle down her neck and soak into her sweater. Mixing with the older blood and she could feel her head start to swim again as she realized they were going to rape her and she was going to die.

He removed his awful dirty hand and she watched as he gleefully took off his pants and pressed himself tightly against her.

His eyes burned deeply with a hunger and lust all too familiar and she was barely able to hold back her screams.

She pressed herself tighter against the tree in hopes that she could stop them from raping her.

But she knew it was useless and she blinked back her tears and tried to accept the fact that she was going to die alone in the park like this.

* * *

"Ahhh!" Raphael roared and kicked at a chair in his way, smashing it into lots of little pieces. He grabbed his helmet and slammed it on his head and jumping on his bike, he tore away from the lair.

Leo had pushed him too far this time and he fumed with rage while racing through the city on his bike.

After a while, he found himself at Central Park and hopping off his bike while still grumbling to himself, he jumped into a nearby tree. From there, he could look out for any sign of trouble and he was sure in the mood to kick some serious shell.

He leapt from tree to tree silently, remaining in the shadows until he saw a disturbing sight that made his blood boil even more.

"Humans are horrible and do awful things to one another!" He thought furiously to himself, a low growl collecting in his throat.

He jumped down quietly and snuck up behind the men. Clenching his fists tightly around his familiar and mastered weapons, he smirked and knocked the guy with the knife to the girl's throat away. He hit him on the head, knocking him to the ground and went to attack the other guy, but he quickly pulled out a gun.

He held the gun to her head. "Drop the weapons or I will shoot!" He warned.

Raphael snarled and tightened his grip on the worn leather. He rushed forward and knocked the gun from his hand and landed a blow to his gut before the guy knew what had happened.

Raphael threw another precise kick to his stomach with such force he was thrown backwards and landed with a hard thud. The man doubled over in pain and gasping for air, but grabbed at the gun and aimed it at Raphael.

Bullets flew all over, but his reflexes were on the top of his game tonight and swinging his sais, he deflected them all. Kicking him again and again, the man writhed in pain as Raph continued with his brutal attack.

He punched him in the face over and over, his fury at this sick and disgusting man coursing through him with every punch.

"Look out!" Bethany's voice cried out and he whirled around just in time to dodge a bullet fired from the other guy, now standing up.

Raphael dodged the bullets and charged into the man, knocking him to the ground. Raphael kicked the guy again and again until he was lying on the ground pleading desperately for him to stop.

Raphael's chest rose and fell heavily and he burned with fury. If the girl wasn't there, he would've finished them both off and left but he stood there now, rage still pulsing through his veins. "Fucking bastard!" He growled.

He turned to leave, hoping to vanish into the night knowing she had already seen too much.

"Wait! Please don't leave me!" She called out, fear thick in her voice still.

Sighing, he reluctantly turned to face the girl, who was still standing and looking very scared.

"You alright?" He asked.

Instead of freaking out like he thought she might or even answer his question, she exclaimed. "You're hurt!" She pointed to his arm.

He suddenly felt the warm sticky blood trickling down his arm where a bullet had grazed him. He shrugged it off. "S' nothing. You alright though?"

"You, you're, you're a talking turtle!" She exclaimed as if just realizing this fact.

"Uh, yeah. Look you should go to a hospital or something." Raph suggested awkwardly.

"No! Please don't make me!" She cried and gripped his arm fearfully; her face turning completely pale.

"But why not? You ok?"

"Please don't make me go! Please!" She begged him desperately. "Please!"

"Look I can't help you. You need to see a doctor-" he began.

"No please! He'll find me! And he'll kill me! Please don't make me go!" She cried and tears started to fall from her eyes. "Please don't make me go!"

"Who's gonna kill you?" Raphael asked, concerned.

"He'll find me! Please don't make me go!" She babbled again.

And before Raphael could respond she froze. "Wait! You, you were there! I- you-" she gasped and turned ghost white again.

"What?" Raph asked, confused.

"You were there...!" She whispered and fainted.

Raphael caught her in his strong arms. "Aw, Shell!" He grumbled.

Normally, he would have just dropped her off at the hospital and left, but after the desperate way she pleaded against it and her bizarre statement, he decided to take her back to the lair.

As he carried her over to his bike he stared at her, and couldn't help but be taken aback by her beauty. Even in the dark and covered in dark purple bruises and blood, her pale face shone brightly and he took in every detail from her small ears and perfectly shaped eyebrows, to her full pink lips. All perfectly framed by her dark brown, long wavy tresses.

"Leo's gonna kill me!" He said out loud and drove for home holding her tightly against his plastron with one hand.

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**There! hope you enjoyed Chapter One and I hope you will keep reading. :) Please review and let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Here's Chapter Two for you. Sorry for the delay in getting out. We had some famly stuff come out and I had a friend attempt suicide. So yea. Sorry it took awhile and it might not be the best chapter; but please enojoy and review! :)**

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**Chapter Two.**

Raphael pulled into the sewers and was met instantly by Donnie.

"Leo's gonna kill-" Donnie began, but stopped when he saw the girl hanging limp in Raphael's arms. "What happened? Are you both alright? Why did you bring a girl down here?!" Donnie demanded.

"She was getting raped an- I saved her. She's ain't urt much, but was mumbling somthin bout someone gunna kill her and I bein somewhere and den she fainted. I decided to bring er here." Raphael grumbled irritably.

"Leo is so going to kill you even more now, but bring her here. I'll see if I can help her."

They walked over to Donnie's lab and laid her on the table. Donnie pressed his fingers on her neck, checking for her pulse. He continued to examine her and Raphael fidgeted uncomfortably.

Donnie removed her thick sweater to reveal a light blue tank top that hugged her curves and aside from being wrinkled and bloody, it looked really good on her.

"Hmm..." Donnie mumbled as he continued to look her over. "She appears to be alright all things considered. No broken bones and her breathing is stable. Her neck needs cleaning though. Can you hand me that wash cloth?" He gestured to the sink.

Raphael walked over and wetted the cloth with warm water and wringing it out, he handed it to Donnie.

Donnie started to wipe away the dried blood and clean the wound.

"It doesn't look very deep, but it's hard to tell. But I need to bandage it up before it gets dirty and she wakes up." Donnie said and walked over to his desk and grabbed the first aid kid.

With expert fingers from patching up his brothers, he dressed the wound and cleaned up her other injuries.

"Is she going to be alright?" Raph asked, trying to mask the concern in his voice.

"She should be alright in a few days. It's hard to tell though. I'm not sure if she's suffered any head injuries. And there's one other thing."

"What?"

"Look here." Donnie said as he lifted up her tank top a little and pointed to her side. He revealed big, dark bruises all over her sides and scars covered her body. She had cuts and bruises all over her arms and legs as well.

"So? What's weird bout that? Those scum balls probably ruffed er up some." Raphael pointed out; a definite tone of anger in his voice as he curled his hands into tight fists.

"Those bruises look too old for that and the cuts are scabbed and that's not fresh dried blood. She was attacked before they got to her." Donnie explained. "And what about all these scars?"

"Raphael! Where have you been and what happened to your arm!?" Leo walked in briskly and demanded this information of Raphael. Anger thick in his tone and his brow was creased. But he stopped in his tracks when he saw the girl lying on the table.

"Now before you jump into Splinter Junior mode and freak out you can just calm down." Raphael growled.

"Then please explain why is there is a strange human girl down here!" Leo barked.

"I found er in Central Park bein attacked. I saved her and she was pleading with me not to take her to the hospital. Then she started babbling about seeing me before or sumthin like tat and fainted. So I decided to bring her here, K!" Raph crossed his arms and scowled at Leo. The tension still heavy between them.

"She was probably just delusional and freaked out, Raph! You are endangering the family by bringing her here!"

"Oh yeah? Because we can't handle this little girl!" Raph spat back sarcastically, rolling his amber eyes in scorn.

"Raphael, you know perfectly well that we are not supposed to bring humans down here or be seen! And this could be a trap!" Leo reprimanded.

"Of course, Fearless. I forgot that every single person is out to get us and that we shouldn't help those in need. My mistake!" Raphael snarled back. His hands reached for his weapons and he started to twirl them angrily. "I'll let them kill her next time!"

"You know what! I've had enough of you!" Leo bit back. His usual calm demeanor had disappeared and he was furious. Raphael had already gone too far that night and then brought home a girl to their secret lair and now he was questioning Leo's judgement.

"No Leo! We are supposed to help people and she isn't going to do anything. We've had people down here before and you don't always know what's best!" Raphael snapped back. Anger pulsing through him as he struggled to keep his cool.

"Now I hate to interrupt, but I have to side with Raphael here, Leo." Donnie interjected thoughtfully. "Raphael is right. We've had people down here before and she really isn't going to hurt anything. And besides she's not in too bad shape and we can't take her back up very soon."

"See, Fearless. At least someone's got a brain." Raph smirked.

"Fine! She can stay for now! But as soon as she is better, she leaves!" Leo warned and spun around on his heel. Leaving the room and mumbling to himself.

"Self centered, know it all, goodie goodie!" Raphael growled under his breath.

"You know he's just worried about Master Splinter, Raph." Donnie tried to explain, but Raphael just shrugged him off.

Donnie sighed. "Well, let me look at your arm."

Raphael pulled his arm away stubbornly. "I'm fine, brainiac. Just let me know when she wakes up." He ordered and stormed out of the room to the dojo.

Donnie sighed and turned back to the girl on the table. "What a mess you've gotten yourself into." He mumbled and sat down at his computer.

* * *

_"Ohh__,__my head..." She moaned, her blue eyes fluttering open.__"Hey, how are you feeling?" A voice asked. She scanned the darkness around her and tried to figure out who was speaking._

_"Who__'s__there? Where am I?" She asked, trying to take in her surroundings.__The strange voice stepped out into the light. "Don't you recognize me?"_

"No, it can't be!? You, you're dead..." She whispered, her heart leaping to her throat in disbelief.

_"I'm not dead!? Are you ok__,__Bethy?"__"Katie?" She mouthed, still not believing her eyes. "No! You're dead and it's my fault." She groaned. The self hate and intense loathing returning to her voice. And the guilt of what she'd done smacking her across the face. "This, this can't be real!" She muttered, trying to wrap her head around the fact that standing right in front of her was Katie._

"Bethany..." Her voice echoed, she was mocking her now. "You are right, it is all your fault and I can never forgive you!" She cried out and laughed.

"No! No! I'm sorry!" Bethany whimpered and shook her head.

"Bethany!" Katie said eerily and repeated her name over and over. It rang in her ears.

"No! No, go away!" She was crying now.

_"You didn't save me! You let me die__,__Bethany! I trusted you and it's your fault!" Katie accused her now. The pain etched on her face made Bethany look away. Not able to bear to see her face again.__She heard Katie scream in terror, a scream so cold and horror filled it rocked her to the bone. Bethany turned to see her body on the ground again. The image all too familiar and she started to cry harder._

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She cried between sobs. The heart wrenching guilt and pain shook her body and squeezed tightly around her heart. This was her fault.

"Hey? Are you ok? Wake up." A different voice was saying now and shaking her gently.

She awoke and sat upright. Sweat covering her forehead and eyes wide. Her cheeks stained with tears.

"Hey, are you alright? You were having a nightmare."

"Ahhhh!" She screamed, and grabbing the pillow under her head, she threw it at the creature. He put his arm up and deflected the pillow easily.

"It's ok. I won't hurt you, I promise." The voice said again.

Bethany stopped crying and eyed the thing warily. It; whatever it was; was big and green with a shell. She studied his face; taking in the purple mask that showed off his kind, brown eyes. He had a long staff on his back and he was holding a coffee mug in a three fingered hand.

Donatello squirmed uncomfortably at the examination.

"What- what are you?" She asked quietly, the fear still light in her voice.

"Well, my name is Donatello, but you can call me Donnie, and I'm a-" he was cut off by Michelangelo racing into the room.

"Donnie, come quickly! It's Master Splinter!" He looked scared.

"I'll be right back. Just stay here." He cried and ran after the other thing. He had been wearing an orange mask and had nun-chucks tucked into a belt.

Bethany tried to move, but found that everything hurt and her head was pounding.

She tried to figure out where she was and why, but she couldn't figure it out.

She felt groggy and her eyes started to close so she lay back down and closed her eyes again, sleep pulling her down and back to the darkness.

She could briefly hear the four voices far away, but soon they disappeared and she fell into a deep sleep again.

* * *

"Michelangelo, what happened!" Donnie's urgent voice asked as he ran over to Master Splinter lying motionless on the ground.

"Donnie, what's going on?" Leo's voice demanded as he marched over. Deep concern etched into his eyebrows.

"I have no idea, Leo." Don replied as he knelt beside Splinter and started checking his pulse and heart rate. "Michelangelo, what happened?"

Mikey looked fear stricken and turned a pale shade of green. "I, I was just sparring with him and I, I hit him and he just fell. It, it was an accident. I didn't mean to-" he babbled fearfully.

"Where did you hit him?" Donnie asked while checking for any visible damage on their father.

"I hit him on the head. But it was an accident!" Michelangelo whimpered, distraught.

"What the shell did you do, you clumsy oaf?! You've killed him!" Raphael raged.

"No! I didn't, we were training and I missed the target and hit him instead. But I didn't mean to!" Mikey tried to explain, backing up from the furious Raphael.

"Didn't mean to?!" He roared. "But you did and now look what you've done!" His eyes burned red.

"Raphael!" Leo barked. "Leave Mikey alone." He stepped in front of the fuming Raphael.

"Get out of the way Leo!" He growled and reached for his sais, gripping the worn leather tightly.

"This wouldn't have happened if you had just listened to me in the first place, Raphael!" Leo reached for his swords.

"So you're going to go there now, Leo?!" Raph snarled. "Masta Splinter doesn't need to go anywhere and you don't know everything!" He yelled and threw punches at Leo's face.

Leo deflected them easily and fought back. "He needs to go somewhere where he can get well Raphael! You're just too thick headed to see it! And I'm the leader!"

"Leo, Raph! Stop!" Mikey pleaded.

"Shut up, Mikey!" They growled in unison.

"Well, ya know what, Fearless? We don't need you to lead us! We are just fine by ourselves."

"You know what? Fine! Go ahead and do things your way. Don't come crying to me when you're dead!" Leo spat back furiously.

"We'd be better off without you, Leo! Then we wouldn't have to deal with your selfish bullshit!" Raph growled back.

"You think I'm selfish! You think I do any of this for me?" Leo screeched. "Everything I do I do is for you! For all of you! I put myself in harm's way to protect you guys! I train all the time so I can keep you safe. You are the only selfish bastard here! Master Splinter has a chance to get better. But you just want to keep him here because you're selfish!" Leo ranted and landed a good blow to Raph's jaw.

Blood trickled down his chin and the taste of copper filled his mouth.

"Master Splinter is just fine here, Leo! And we don't need you to protect us! We never have. I don't need your permission to save people either!" Raph yelled and kicked Leo in the gut.

"I'm doing the best I can for this family, Raphael! You can think whatever you want to! Shell, you can lead this team! But Master Splinter is leaving in the morning because that's what's best!" Leo fought back. Deflecting and returning Raphael's brutal attacks.

The two of them were at each other's throats now and shouting at each other; Donnie sighed wearily and stood up. He reached for his Bo staff and hit Raph and Leo on the head with it.

They turned, shocked at their younger brother. "Both of you just shut up! I can't help Master Splinter with you two fighting like this. So just stop it and go somewhere else so I can work!" He ordered sternly.

Leo puffed in aggravation and put his swords away and walked out of the room.

"Gaahh!" Raph growled and stormed off in the opposite direction, punching the brick wall on the way.

Mikey stayed put, a fearful and tired look displayed across his normally bright face. "They really got into it this time, didn't they…?" He whispered.

Donatello had gone back to work, but nodded silently in agreement.

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**There you go guys! Chapter two. Please review!**


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